Behind The Scenes with Scraggo

Tue, Oct 22, '02

 

Look De Story

Licks in we tail. We takin so much licks, I losing direction where we stay. My fella Scraggo ask me what part West Indies play. Scraggo not too bright but my man had me confuse. Me self thinkin we in Sharjack, but when I hear Pakistan gettin licks in dat same place I realise is somebody else blowsing us.

De air have plenty bad smell in it and it smelling far. A likkle friend of mine call me on de phone and even when I tell her I doan like gossip, she throw dem hard on my chest. Well, yuh know what dey say: Fuss you lissen, den akshun...

De woman have the boldness to say dat Dujon is a real hard bway. She tell me allegedary dat Dujon and Skerrit have woman trouble. Well Skerritt had de woman trouble because is his woman dat was no trouble for Dujon. So, as dem say, chicken house fall down, Dujon dissapear to mek money doing nothing. Harper making money doing nothing either so I putting me and Scraggo up for de big wuk posts. Scraggo might struggle a little on de writing, verbals and wid dat thick nose of his, but we go work on it.

Next ting she start on de sponsor story. Dat is a woman who ask me to sponsor her to walk. I tell her she refuse me to sponsor her for a grind and now she want me to pay she to walk. Look Story. De Story go dat de Busterer sponsor wanted to take a holiday. I never hear dat before, but so it goes. Sponsor say Wurl Cup ah come, nobody playing in de Caribbean because dey eider making money abroad or in de Wurl Cup losing. WICB say no holiday. Scraggo step in an mek a good point for a man of his broughtupcy. He say why de Busterer people ent gettin holiday when all of WI cricket on a holiday de last six years.

Anyway, de ting start to change topic on me and chat bout Show Pony. Who dat? Show pony is what Amby call Skerritt after he try and do tings behind dem back for money in Englund. Well, de story go de money was so small it look like de whole ting was juss for mister to show his signature plenty times. Meanwhile, Harper ent rocking no boat. Scraggo tink Harper is a nice man. Well Scraggo tink all silent people nice. My chick tink it could be a sign of chupidness. I doan know where I stand on dat one.

Anyway de chick say Dujon even come out and say Sarwan, Chandy and Samuels have to go school before they play cricket. I myself shock. Scraggo cannot belive fellas big like that cannot say dey A-B-C. I had to correct Scraggo. Scraggo tink school is de small ting. Well I had to tell him dat.

All of sudden de line cut. Juss when de ting was goin to give me some hot talk on Wes Hall and dem. Dey say a broke man is angry man, and WI cricket is one big broke man. Scraggo make anodder point. He say a slim woman with a heavy bottom does look strange. Scraggo have attenshun problem. No...not dat. De one where you cyah remember de topic.

Boy look licks. I feel sorry for Hoopie. Scraggo not so. He tell me I feelin sorry for hoopsie since we small. Scraggo betta dan me. See when a man not book learn he break it down simple. You win you good, you lose you skite. Well I tired skite. I learnin. Let my lil chick tek licks same time West Indies gettin deres next week. i still want to know how she know bout Dujon. See dat.

Dey say lighting does strike twice. Well dats a man dat earn his money. I cyah stop him gettin attenshun.

* Scraggo say gossip and rumour will get you nowhere. Parody will.