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Walking On Water: A sad story
Drapsey
2017-05-21 11:04:51
Pastor in Zimbabwe eaten by three crocodiles after trying to walk on water
A pastor in Zimbabwe who tried to walk on water like Jesus Christ did died after he got eaten by three crocodiles at the Crocodile River while his congregants watched.
"The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week. He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by 3 large crocodiles in front of us," church member Deacon Nkosi said. "We still don't understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week."
nitro
2017-05-21 11:09:48
In reply to Drapsey
I don't know which is worst, the so called pastor or Deacon Nkosi.
Now these are mad people.
Drapsey
2017-05-21 11:14:10
In reply to nitro
Easily the pastor, he is the one dead. 
Kay
2017-05-21 11:17:51
In reply to Drapsey
Easily the pastor, he is the one dead
But he did fasted and prayed for a whole week....
embsallie
2017-05-21 11:25:24
Faith bro;
Deep faith can cause a lot of heartbreak.
By now if the congregants do not realize these harbingers of faith and the second coming of Christ are nothing but charlatans, I am afraid they will walk the same path as their pastor.
Chrissy
2017-05-21 11:56:48
In reply to Drapsey
Sad? The man is an eediot
pelon
2017-05-21 12:02:28
I am surprised his religious faith did not facilitate the impossible. 
Nkosi said the pastor was gone in a couple of minutes. They only saw his sandals and underwear floating in the river when the crocodiles had finished feasting on the pastor.
Undoubtedly those sandals will become artifacts, that in 190 years will become venerated by the descendants of those that worshiped at this church.
The story will, by then be twisted to mythic proportions:
It will be: "He walked on water and when our leader reached the far bank, three large crocodiles lifted him by his toes and he ascended into heaven. On the third toe, he rose, and He cried wee wee wee all the way home. Hallelujah"
Drapsey
2017-05-21 13:41:15
In reply to pelon
djdrastic
2017-05-21 14:04:31
We've had lots and lots of these crazy prophets down here.Like that preacher who was using insect repellant and claimed it could cure cancer and hiv.
Times are really really tough here so people are looking for miracles to help themselves at this point.
Dan_De_Lyan
2017-05-21 14:39:43
Control ppl buy creating heaven and hell. They choose heaven and the church is in control.
Same goes for political soup drinkers
bravos
2017-05-21 14:41:05
Natural Selection - 1
Religion - 0
Go Pastor!!!
XDFIX
2017-05-21 16:29:59
Dan_De_Lyan
2017-05-21 16:48:18
For Sale: 40 gallon drum of coolaid. Misdirected Shipment. No offer refused.
Address on drum "Port Kaituma"
Norm
2017-05-21 17:48:07
The pastor achieved his objective. He is now swimming the river as a part of 3 crocs! 
I am sure he will now be on the lookout for more walkers!
Strange thing is ... didn't he realize things weren't going as planned as soon as he stepped into the water?
Dan_De_Lyan
2017-05-21 17:56:09
In reply to Norm
He should have gone to Canada in the winter, walking on water is easy.
black
2017-05-21 18:17:50
Ah waan see Benny Hinn walk on water in that same river.
XDFIX
2017-05-21 21:18:48
For edification:
Matthew 4:1-11 New King James Version (NKJV)
Satan Tempts Jesus
4 Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2 And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was
hungry. 3 Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”
4 But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’”[a]
5 Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, 6 and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written:
‘He shall give His angels charge over you,’
and,
‘In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’”[b]
7 Jesus said to him, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God.’”[c]
8 Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. 9 And he said to Him, “All these
things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.”
10 Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you,[d] Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”[e]
11 Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to him.
Dan_De_Lyan
2017-05-21 22:22:38
In reply to XDFIX
salt water? dead sea 
Norm
2017-05-21 22:38:35
In reply to Dan_De_Lyan
He should have gone to Canada in the winter, walking on water is easy.
Or get somebody to doctor a video, or shoot the video from the right "angles".
On top of everything else, the pastor put on this most extraordinary event for free. He wasted a great opportunity to leave behind a pile of money for his church, and a fantastic youtube video that was bound to attract millions of hits!
Maybe the crocs did the villagers a big favor by eating up this pastor!!!
nick2020
2017-05-22 06:38:03
This is not the first time that a pastor died while trying to imitate Jesus' miracle of walking on water. In September, NAIJ reported that Pastor Franck Kabele drowned to death in a beach in Libreville, Gabon while attempting to reenact the miracle in front of his congregation.
Pastor Kabele reportedly told his church members that he received a revelation that he could do what Jesus did if he had enough faith. He took his congregation to the beach and announced that he would cross the water by foot. He drowned immediately when he stepped into the water.
Halliwell
2017-05-22 09:38:57
One of the building blocks of Chritian faith is selflessness
Less about self and more about the Lord
Did this stunt evolve into 'look at me; look what I can do'?
The X man above puts it well
Headley
2017-05-22 10:32:11
In reply to Drapsey
My take away from the story is as follows:
1. If Nitro say the pastor mad then take it from me, that man was certifiable.
2. If he had really fasted and prayed I am sure he would be here today. I believe he got the
praying right but he cheated on the fasting.
3. The underwear and the sandals were obviously blessed. They will be available on Ebay any
day now.
Undoubtedly those sandals will become artifacts, that in 190 years will become venerated by the descendants of those that worshiped at this church.
The story will, by then be twisted to mythic proportions:
It will be: "He walked on water and when our leader reached the far bank, three large crocodiles lifted him by his toes and he ascended into heaven. On the third toe, he rose, and He cried wee wee wee all the way home. Hallelujah"
I should have read your post first. I would have realised my post was unnecessary.
Headley
2017-05-22 10:38:08
In reply to bravos
Natural Selection - 1
Religion - 0
Go Pastor!!!
I was wondering how come you were absent during the past week or two.
Runs
2017-05-22 12:35:47
Drapsey
2017-05-22 13:15:33
In reply to Runs
Now you have to come and throw cold water on an otherwise thriving thread. 
Runs
2017-05-22 13:27:10
In reply to Drapsey
Just trying to keep it real
In this era of the gullible 
