Matters Cricket: Tell Mi Someting!

As you all know, when on a Sunday morning, I dabble in matters cricket, I first visit with the big-men of West Indies cricket-writing - Tony Cozier and Tony Becca - to see what they are saying. I then, quietly slip into their slip-stream. However, this morning, I will not. Let me gentlemen, gently twist in the wind.
 
By now, all the wells which spring-forth Banks, Carib, and Red Stripe beers, must be about to run-dry, such was the celebration on the West Indies hanging-on to draw the Test match in Antigua. Imagine, my Caribbean people, going head-over-heels, over a draw!
 
But before I'm called-out for my mean-spiritedness, let me also join-in, in praising Jason Holder for his cerebral Test century. For those who might not want to rewind the tape, let me remind, that when I saw Jason Holder batting last June, in the Test at Kensington Oval against New Zealand, I sort of saw, what Clive Lloyd, had seen - an intelligent approach to his cricket and to his batting.
 
Speaking of which. Might those who - for selecting the youngster to wet his feet by captaining the World Cup 2015 team - likened selector chairman Clive Lloyd, to some sort of bumbling oaf, now raise their hand(s)? But gentlemen, this is not my beef.

 
But tell mi something! Who within the West Indies cricket brain-trust, is signing-off on this grand scheme, of winning the toss, and then, inserting the opposition to bat?
 
As I read the copy of the two Tonys this morning, I was shocked that not a word was mentioned of this, so busy were they, in their respective celebrations.
 
Can somebody gentlemen, show me the record of Test wins, when a team winning the toss, has invited the opposition to bat, and, has ended-up winning? Gentlemen, am I just (as usual), faasing into big-people business, not knowing what I'm taking about, and therefore, should just "tek weh myself?"  
 
Can somebody tell me, what's behind this great strategy, of winning a toss, and thinking that the opposition will make less use of the batting surface, than my team will? Gentlemen, unu mad as rass!
 
By continue to out think themselves, the West Indies have been inviting more trouble on themselves, than James Bond does, by "faasing into `big-people' business."
 
With Clive Lloyd (110); Sir Richie Richardson (86); Sir Curtly Ambrose (98); Stuart Williams (31); head-coach Phil Simmons (26), and captain Denesh Ramdin (65), in the West Indies brain-trust, my count of their collective Test match experience, is a whopping 416. So gentlemen, these gentlemen should know what they are doing. But, the problem is, I don't. And, I would very much like to know.  
 
I was talking to a Jamaica Colts opening batsman yesterday. And his take was, "Nonsense. Whatever demons might be in a wicket, they usually go back to-hell, in the first hour of play." So to him, unless a team is `hiding' its batsmen, it's mostly nearly always to a team's advantage, to, take first strike.    
 
It might have however, made sense back in February 1986 in the first West Indies-England Test in Kingston. Armed with Malcolm Marshall, Joel Garner, Patrick Patterson, and Michael Holding, captain Viv Richards knocked on England's dressing-room door and announced, "Gentlemen, because so far, you've been such fantastic guests, I'm gonna invite you, to have first-knock." According to Richards, his counter-part David Gower's face, turned ashen, and the West Indies cantered to a 10-wicket win.
 
Will somebody therefore explain to me, why the West Indies now win, and then, give away a toss? And then when they struggle to make posted scores, claim like Harry Houdini, some great escape? Do they still have Malcolm, Garner, Patterson, and Holding?
 
Gentlemen, for this celebration, count me out!