Any enthusiasts or formally trained psychology persons here?
What are your views of the inner child, wounds and healing?
I've been doing some work and it is the most profound of understandings of myself (ego self) I think I have ever had.
Hard work too but very rewarding.
I think everyone needs access to this type of understanding in their lives...it would help so much with their relationships, reactions, addictions, etc.
I would strongly advise if you struggle with anger issues, addictions and self-destructive habits you seek a therapist who can is skilled at regression techniques.
Yes..this is personal stuff but I don't mind sharing if it helps others...
(serious, compassionate self speaking here)
Message Board Archives
Psychology: the inner child..
2018-01-21 08:02:48
2018-01-21 20:19:50
In reply to DAVE400
I am just a individual with no formal training in this
what I call demesne in humans.
Attended a few sessions where the topic was brought up and a non scientific discussion occurred.
I will list some of the salient points that had me thinking.
One speaker noted that the inner child is often neglected and appears when we become mature as adults.We as children formed motifs and beliefs when adults treated us badly.The end results in hate, people are bad and trust no one. Such beliefs play a role in an adult life.
Often looking for love and material things to find happiness.It can lead to feelings of being
misunderstood, our inner child feels such emotions.
This feeling is often characterized by restraint of the suffering.The end results in us wandering without meaning for periods in life.
The need to stop blaming oneself and guilty feelings and mistakes for things we were blamed for.The inner child screams when ever we feel the above,such is not heard within our bodies as other demons take over.
We need to reconnect with the injured parts of ourselves and heal them once and for all. To stop blaming ourselves for things we didn’t do, and the mistakes we didn't make.
We need to love our inner child, to accept and forgive , thereby forgiving ourselves.
We don’t even know the inner child exists. And now is the time to make amends.
Years later we find as we nurture ourself emotionally and spiritually. The child in us has healed.
We tell inner child “I love you. Don’t be afraid, I’m here.” speaking to oneself is a strange feeling.
After some practice, we felt calmer and more self-confident. This was the beginning of healing the wounds of our past.
From now on, that we’d devote more attention by listening to our inner voice, and follow our feelings.
We would love that inner child and no hurt would ever become to that inner child anymore.
Often looking for love and material things to find happiness.It can lead to feelings of being
misunderstood, our inner child feels such emotions.
This feeling is often characterized by restraint of the suffering.The end results in us wandering without meaning for periods in life.
The need to stop blaming oneself and guilty feelings and mistakes for things we were blamed for.The inner child screams when ever we feel the above,such is not heard within our bodies as other demons take over.
We need to reconnect with the injured parts of ourselves and heal them once and for all. To stop blaming ourselves for things we didn’t do, and the mistakes we didn't make.
We need to love our inner child, to accept and forgive , thereby forgiving ourselves.
We don’t even know the inner child exists. And now is the time to make amends.
Years later we find as we nurture ourself emotionally and spiritually. The child in us has healed.
We tell inner child “I love you. Don’t be afraid, I’m here.” speaking to oneself is a strange feeling.
After some practice, we felt calmer and more self-confident. This was the beginning of healing the wounds of our past.
From now on, that we’d devote more attention by listening to our inner voice, and follow our feelings.
We would love that inner child and no hurt would ever become to that inner child anymore.
Dave, I dont know if this is within the realm of what you were looking for. Good luck
2018-01-21 21:35:39
The first tool is to relinquish animosity, even hate untoward another. Unlocking the ego bound tension starts at introspspection.
You admitted from the beginning of the year that you are on a quest: with new spritual philosophies... which is great, but at some point sit and ask yourself: who is Dave?
Everything pours out from the answer therein...
The inner child is not subservient to the man you've become... only your maturity and experience keeps u in check
And btw: you and men like bravos are born leaders... do just that... lead. Don't waffle in pursuit of something you are not.
2018-01-21 22:51:16
In reply to pelon
The first tool is to relinquish animosity, even hate untoward another. Unlocking the ego bound tension starts at introspection
You admitted from the beginning of the year that you are on a quest: with new spiritual philosophies... which is great, but at some point sit and ask yourself: who is Dave?
You admitted from the beginning of the year that you are on a quest: with new spiritual philosophies... which is great, but at some point sit and ask yourself: who is Dave?
That is perfection in summation.
2018-01-22 07:26:05
In reply to sgtdjones
Your response post is spot on.
2018-01-22 07:28:32
In reply to pelon
My understanding is the inner child has to be healed and have some previously unmet needs attended before he can move on...
Mine never got affection...especially when hurt or disappointed...so I carry automatic defense mechanisms and distractions...all unhealthy.
2018-01-22 08:36:30
In reply to DAVE400
I can't answer to your process of healing, but I do differ in referring to it as "inner child"
You have life stages.
The period of your life that never got affection is not a separate or 'segmentable' but a lineage in the evolution of Dave
Taking that pain and the associated neglect - you should counter it (not overcompensate though) with affection untoward your kids/nephews/nieces (if you have) and those around you.
The present distractions and "unhealthy" habits can be tweaked with wholesome activities that occupy your "extra energy".... for me that is flying or cricket or woodwork.. or even gardening. I don't give a fcuk what some thinks... it works for me.
You can't fix the past. You can't fix me. You can't fix your 1970's self. You can manage now and plot for tomorrow.
What is very healthy is the dialog.
Many Caribbean men are weak pussies that bark loud and keep feelings locked up, all the while burning inside.... weak pussies I tell you. It is how we were raised - yet it is the very thing that keeps us repeating the past...
And lastly, none are perfect (except Ewart and Powen) - the rest of us mortals only need to do the best we can....
2018-01-22 09:20:42
In reply to pelon
You can't fix the past. You can't fix me. You can't fix your 1970's self. You can manage now and plot for tomorrow.
Actually the notion is that you can.
Your psyche and sub-conscious are indifferent about present, past etc. Whatever is there, no matter when it happened, is still there feeling everything in the present tense.
There is a process to go through to actually provide attention and affection to that inner child.
Ignoring it is detrimental. The triggers will remain.
Anyway, it took a lot of work for me to develop my speck of understanding. Everyone is ultimately responsible for his own psychology and emotional well-being.
And quite frankly, we may be okay with who we are and how we react.
What I am hoping to show here is that maybe...just maybe..with some work and attention we may learn something about ourselves that improves our wellness and our relationships.
2018-01-22 10:31:38
In reply to DAVE400
Children need unconditional love, nurturing, compassion and acceptance from their parents in order to grow and mature.
In each of us, there is a young, suffering child.
We have all had times of difficulty as children and many of us have experienced trauma. To protect and defend ourselves against future suffering, we often try to forget those painful times.
It is simply the repressed parts of our psyche, aspects damaged or wounded during the formative years of our childhood.
Once part of us becomes an adult but another part stays as a child. This inner child is our emotional selves.
Carrying childhood wounds into our adult lives, they may show up in your outer life as problems in communications, anger, dysfunctional relationships, addictions,etc
Can leave us feeling sad, lonely, abandoned or distrustful.
Healing is a simple and safe process which often results in powerful life changing transformations.
One need to find out the source of the emotional holding-anger, shame, guilt, fear, confusion, grief.
Giving the child a voice- by allowing the child to express and release unsaid feelings and words, he/she feels heard and thus empowered.
Learn any lessons from that childhood experience.
Move to resolution and closure, often with forgiveness
Only now, is the time to heal the trauma, abuse or event that shut you down at childhood.You are now ready to conquer your mountain.
The inner child concept originates from Jung. It’s a part of our unconscious that represents the child we once were. And it has been widely used in psychotherapy as a powerful tool in helping with emotional healing and transformation.
In each of us, there is a young, suffering child.
We have all had times of difficulty as children and many of us have experienced trauma. To protect and defend ourselves against future suffering, we often try to forget those painful times.
It is simply the repressed parts of our psyche, aspects damaged or wounded during the formative years of our childhood.
Once part of us becomes an adult but another part stays as a child. This inner child is our emotional selves.
Carrying childhood wounds into our adult lives, they may show up in your outer life as problems in communications, anger, dysfunctional relationships, addictions,etc
Can leave us feeling sad, lonely, abandoned or distrustful.
Healing is a simple and safe process which often results in powerful life changing transformations.
One need to find out the source of the emotional holding-anger, shame, guilt, fear, confusion, grief.
Giving the child a voice- by allowing the child to express and release unsaid feelings and words, he/she feels heard and thus empowered.
Learn any lessons from that childhood experience.
Move to resolution and closure, often with forgiveness
Only now, is the time to heal the trauma, abuse or event that shut you down at childhood.You are now ready to conquer your mountain.
The inner child concept originates from Jung. It’s a part of our unconscious that represents the child we once were. And it has been widely used in psychotherapy as a powerful tool in helping with emotional healing and transformation.
Your thread made me read notes that I took many years ago,after graduating from University. I was meandering
through time with no purpose in life.I had strange feelings.
The VP of the University saw this in me and I was given
the help that was needed. Now when I lecture I speak about such, so others can seek help.
It's no longer taboo.
2018-01-22 10:50:14
In reply to DAVE400
I don’t think there is anyone with reasonable intelligence who couldn’t learn from what you are positing --- I personally lean more to the philosophical rather than the clinical – though I think there is a serious union of the two - if your life is going to have meaning – you have to give it that meaning --- if I learn anything from life it’s this – don’t hold onto your mistakes – if you can learn from them – do that and move on --- sports is a mentor for that --
2018-01-22 10:55:22
In reply to birdseye
I don’t think there is anyone with reasonable intelligence who couldn’t learn from what you are positing
This is cc.com ?
Sustained concentration and fast food mentality... TM Dukes
Link Text
2018-01-22 11:58:48
In reply to sgtdjones
Persuasive reference link 
-The literal meaning of life is what you do to avoid killing yourself –Albert Camus --- he also said – “if the world is devoid of purpose you can imbue it with whatever you want” ---- boy – is that ever true
2018-01-22 17:08:41
It may be nigh-impossible to "fix" us but at least we can
try and do something for the next generation!
2018-01-23 14:23:06
In reply to DAVE400
I don’t know much about this ‘inner child’ concept. I can remember my parents telling me to “grow up” when I did something stupid. And when I did grow up there was adolescence to deal with, school pressures and then early professional stress. It was all happening so fast that only now I’m able to look back. I have lost touch with that inner child and has since started new beliefs in important areas of my life.
2018-01-24 10:41:25
I appreciate the responses on this thread. The important thing I have learned about this phenomenon is that the inner child sustains emotional wounds that affect the behaviour of the individual throughout its life. The manifestation is usually undesirable.
The wounds may be inflicted maliciously or unknowingly...often out of care. Parental criticism, peer pressure, teasing, taunting, physical or sexual trauma, teachers, etc.
I have identified a few from my parents criticisms, teachers, peers and in one case:
SELF-INFLICTED.
Let me share. My therapist encouragedged me to get in the habit of looking into the relationship with my siblings and encouraged me to really feel my response and not block emotions.
So, I was in my office one luchtime, reflecting on my childhood. A memory came up of me as an eight year old beating up my six year old cousin (who i grew up with like a brother) anytime he rolled over on my side of the bed in the middle of the night until he cried...I did this on quite a few occasions.
A deep overwhelming guilt came over me and I had to run into the bathroom and cry my eyes out...sobbed for 15 minutes straight. I whatsapped my cousin and reminded him....apologized...he asked me if I was drunk...but he did appreciate me reaching out...our relationship has been so good since that...
That was my first real epiphany of these wounds..i had been carrying for so long...I had some more regression under supervision and had some really strong releases for other incidents that seem so innocuous but the hurt and triggers they leave are very very real...
After these, my self-awareness is so much stronger...and my ability to relate to my kids in particular, is so much richer.
2018-01-24 11:26:15
In reply to DAVE400
I suggest some Carl Jung?!?
2018-01-25 13:44:22
In reply to steveo
Thanks Steve. I've read quite a bit of Freud but never Jung...so checked out some articles on him and wellness.
First something about Freud. He contributed to modern psychology and he was a pioneer but to me he was too formulaic and reduced every aspect of our psyche to human sexuality...
Found this article on Jung and found it so much more holistic.
2018-01-25 13:50:15
From the article:
As we get older I believe many of us search for a deeper more intellectually meaningful understanding of life. For me the need for more personal individualised expression becomes more profound. I desire the means to tap into a more spiritual awareness that will allow the thoughts, feelings and emotions of my unconscious mind to come to the surface so that I may challenge some of the more preset/entrenched ideas and confusions that have been created by my ego.
For the sake of acceptance and approval we often play out or pretend ‘individuality’. According to Jung our persona mediates between our consciousness and the social community around us. It seeks to discover compromise so that we can find satisfaction in a belief that ‘we are as we are expected to be’. However, for some as we reach greater stages of maturity we become more aware that there is something missing, perhaps a deeper hidden part of ourselves that once exposed will help us to understand the true nature of ourselves.
2018-01-25 15:24:26
In reply to DAVE400
I have read a book and some by Carl Jung. I find him very very interesting to understanding ourselves, inner motivations etc
He goes to the edges of metaphysics but with a very clinical perspective.
I myself a decade or so back, was very self defeating.
Once I was unemployed and turned down a very promising job interview by hanging up on the guy. I think this is a problem a lot of us have had at some point of our lives. It is possible that real SELF awareness can help in resolving that.
By the way, I had a similar experience with a cousin at around the age of 4 or so. I whipped the guy and chased him out of our house, ran after him...not for any conscious reason. I regret it today and it probably pains me more than him. Some psychological distresses can be harsher than temporary physical pain.
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