Keep it up boys, U R doing well...

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver
won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to
offend you".

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I
am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see
and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you
could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:
#1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is
very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker
blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts
crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a
Halloween party."

In reply to tops

all ya hilarious!!

In reply to tops

In reply to tops

You cannot get on this bus it’s only for cricketers..
but I am on the West Indies team !!
As I said Only for cricketers !!
Gwan and catch a mini bus !!
Mini bus not taking me ... passengers pelting me!!
Leave your gear bags and shut your mouth .. you might get lucky !!

That was on Mason Show ..

How come you guys miss it ..

In reply to CITYBOY

please don't give up your day job, stick to drinking.

Once there were two wicked brothers who were involved in all kinds of evil activities.
It so happened that one died. The other one went to the preacher and said to him:
"If you call my deceased brother a saint, I will give you anything you want."
The preacher thought of it for awhile and agreed. On the day of the funeral, he said:
"Here lies one of the most vile, despicable, evil, contemptable, scoundrel, rascal that ever lived; but compare to his brother, he was a saint."

😃

In reply to tops

Staying with Nuns
3 died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter-You've all done great work but this place is so holy and pure you gotta confess your most hidden secrets. 1st nun-Once a 21yr old dying soldier asked to touch my breast I allowed him and it felt good. St. Peter- go wash it in that basin of holy water. Nun #2. I worked in a pharmacy, real cramped space this intern used to squeeze past and rub himself on my butt. It tickled, felt good andvI always choked down my giggles. St. Peter- Gonwash your b...er Sis. Bartholomew where are you going? I haven't heard your confessions yet! 3rd Nun- If you think I'm going to gargle that water after she washes her butt in it...

In reply to Brerzerk

In reply to tops



Heard that Halloween one but its hilarious.

Three guys went to steal fruit from a farm...they all got caught by the security. Security tells them that since this is the holiday season, I will not send you guys to jail if you can stuff what you stole in your arse...first guy was able to get the orange, he was free to go. Second guy came with a dunk (size of a grape), he also passed the test and was ordered to go but he started crying. Security said, "Why are you crying?". To which he responded, "My other friend waiting in line stole pineapples"...

This horny lady wanted to marry a man with the biggest wood, so she married an African and after realizing she can't handle thst wood, she did some research and decided to marry a man from China, on their wedding night, de man load up de wood and was ready for fun on his wedding night, when she saw what was coming, she yelled "Are you Chinese?" and he relied politely, "Yes", but I was born in Africa!

Why do you always see two nuns walk together?

Answer later

One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex.
The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops.
“What are you doing, Mommy?”
The mother too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an answer.
“Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.”
The little girl replies, “Well, mommy you really shouldn’t bother with that.”
The mother has a confused look on her face, “Why do you say that sweetheart?”
The little girl replies, “Because mommy, everytime you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.”

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim.
When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?"
The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me."
A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?"
The preacher replied again, "No God will save me."
Eventually the preacher drowned and went to heaven.
The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?"
God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"

In reply to WestDem

In reply to Chrissy
I think I know the answer, but I'll let U give it.

In reply to tops

I think i heard it before too but will wait ...

In reply to tops
So none can get none

In reply to Chrissy
Yep! But I heard of a longer version where nun go with nun to make sure nun gets none.

In reply to Chrissy

I also heard when both of them were getting on with men and one panicked and said god will be upset and the other yelled, leave me alone, this is the Master…

In reply to tops

Beautiful thread…love this more than theFL…

In reply to WestDem

In reply to tops