USA:  Interesting ideas from your Citizens

Because it’s not just Trump who seems to be a little bit off his rocker, is it? The US is being run by a bunch of people with some very interesting ideas.

Democrats introduced legislation that would create a commission to assess whether Trump is unfit to serve and should be removed under the 25th amendment. I don’t need to tell you what precipitated this: Trump is growingly increasingly erratic, threatening genocide one minute and posting pictures of himself as Jesus Christ the next.

Teleported

Gregg Phillips, a top official at the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA). Phillips has espoused election fraud conspiracy theories and said that “bitch” Joe Biden deserves to die, which isn’t particularly surprising for a Trump official. What is unusual, however, are his claims that he once involuntarily teleported to a Waffle House in Rome, Atlanta.

How exactly did that happen? He’s not sure. But Phillips did insinuate that the Waffle House hash brown bowls weren’t worth the journey. 

JD Vance Aliens...

I don’t know if it’s because they’re desperate for signs of intelligent life, but Republicans are obsessed with extraterrestrial activity. That includes JD Vance, who, during a recent appearance on the Benny Show podcast, told conservative commentator Benny Johnson that he thought aliens were "demons." He hasn’t “been able to spend enough time on this”, Vance continued, and he has developed some theories. “I think that celestial beings fly around and do weird things to people. I think that the desire to describe everything celestial, everything otherworldly, to describe it as aliens,” Vance said. Maybe it was the alien demons who took Phillips to Waffle House?

You can bet the Republicans are going to get to the bottom of it. MAGA may not be fighting for universal healthcare or cheaper prices, but they are working very hard to get the Trump administration to reveal information about all these demons circling the Earth.

Did Aliens sleep with Vance on the couch?😳

Alien Files: “[P]eel back the layers of that onion?

On Sunday, Tim Burchett, a Republican congressman from Tennessee, called on Trump to release government files on aliens. “[P]eel back the layers of that onion, let America decide if we can handle it,” Burchett urged. “I think we can handle it.”

Former Republican congressman Matt Gaetz, who was briefly Trump’s pick for US attorney general, claimed that he had been briefed on a secret alien-human hybrid breeding program when he was in office. And Burchett himself once announced on Fox News that the aliens have technology that could turn humans “into a charcoal briquette." ”.

Diet Soda

The aliens may have advanced tech, but you know what they (probably) don’t have? Diet soda. While a lot of people have wondered how on earth Trump is so healthy considering his junk food diet, it looks like we learned the answer this week. According to comments by Mehmet Oz on Donald Trump Jr.'s podcast, the president, who has many unusual views about medicine and health, thinks Diet Coke is a health elixir.

“Your dad argues that diet soda is good for him because it kills grass if poured on grass, so, therefore, it must kill cancer cells inside the body,” Oz said. “[M]aybe he’s on to something,” Trump Jr. replied. Or maybe he’s on something

Health secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who, as we all know, has some unorthodox ideas of his own: he once said that he thinks WiFi causes a “leaky brain” and chemicals in the water supply could turn children transgender.

MASA

Can anyone make America sane again? It may be an extraterrestrial intervention. Aliens, if you’re reading this, please come visit the US! We’ll give you a nice cold can of cancer-busting soda and take you straight to our leader.

Thanks to Arwa Mahdawi