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An Englishman, taking a road trip through the US, notices he’s low on fuel, pulls into the first gas station he sees. The attendant walks out and approaches the car.

“How can I help you, sir?”

And in a posh voice, the man says, “I’m low on petrol; please top off the tank.”

With an odd look, the guy begins to fill ’er up.

The Englishman then says, “Also, while I’m here could you open the bonnet and check the oil?”

Now looking slightly peeved but still saying nothing, the serviceman does as requested.

“Oh, yes,” says the Brit, “It appears my windscreen needs a good cleaning. Would you mind terribly-”

Unable to hold his tongue any more the attendant angrily snaps, “Alright, that’s enough! It’s not Petrol, it’s gasoline! It’s not a bonnet, it’s a hood! And it’s not a windscreen, it’s a windshield! We invented cars, so you call them by their American names!”

And with that wonderful, charming, stiff-upper-lip UK wit, the Englishman calmly replies, “Well yes, my friend, you may have invented the automobile, but we invented the language!”

In reply to Dukes

In reply to Dukes

Well done!

In reply to Dukes

In reply to Dukes

In reply to Dukes
True too

good one

Crown Court years ago- The attorney defending the guy who stole books from a library to highlight Britain's pillage of and refusal to return The Magdalla Collection to Ethiopia was asked by the judge. 'The Wedding of Charles n Diana, why would he steal that book?'

Defendant-'To show how lavish Britain lives off pillage'

Attorney-'Your Honor we West Indians are different from you' 'If someone steps on you in a bus you'll say...Excuse me kind Sir do you mind removing your feet from atop mine?'

'Wi doan duh dat!' No, WI pull wi foot from unda fi yuh an 'TEP PON YUH BACK!!'