Hidden Victims of Gaslighting
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Gaslighting is defined as manipulating someone into thinking theyre wrong even when theyre right. A form of emotional abuse, it can be used to make the victim question their own mental wellbeing. It was used by the medical profession for decades before being named the buzzword of 2018. The word itself comes from the name of a 1944 movie in which the male protagonist convinces his wife she is losing her mind. While you may have heard about gaslighting in this context of relationships, its actually present in many other aspects of day-to-day life.
While the origin of the term gives the impression it's a tactic of the master manipulator, some of us might gaslight without ever realising. Gaslighting can happen in work, family or platonic relationships as well as romantic ones, says Cheryl Muir, a relationship coach based in the UK. "Sometimes, people who gaslight you in life arent doing it out of malice or to deliberately harm you but rather due to a lack of self-awareness, or perhaps even to protect you.
Muir noticed that children who witnessed alcoholism, domestic abuse or substance abuse in the home were often told it didnt happen when they confronted their parents about it. Those parents might have the best intentions to protect their child but it actually come across as unreliable, she says. That is a form of gaslighting, so from a young age if youre not able to trust what your parents are saying, you go on to not be able to trust anyone else. It has also been shown that denial is a common tactic of child abusers.
While the origin of the term gives the impression it's a tactic of the master manipulator, some of us might gaslight without ever realising. Gaslighting can happen in work, family or platonic relationships as well as romantic ones, says Cheryl Muir, a relationship coach based in the UK. "Sometimes, people who gaslight you in life arent doing it out of malice or to deliberately harm you but rather due to a lack of self-awareness, or perhaps even to protect you.
Muir noticed that children who witnessed alcoholism, domestic abuse or substance abuse in the home were often told it didnt happen when they confronted their parents about it. Those parents might have the best intentions to protect their child but it actually come across as unreliable, she says. That is a form of gaslighting, so from a young age if youre not able to trust what your parents are saying, you go on to not be able to trust anyone else. It has also been shown that denial is a common tactic of child abusers.