Shame On You All

Wed, Nov 24, '04

 

musings with PERCY PATSON

Percy Patson back again chaps, wearing my Nike shorts and my Adidas shirt and looking well fit. I must pontificate on the intellectuals running the West Indies game. Come to think of it, never have I presided over the butchery of a word like intellectual as in this case.

First, this is a case which is extremely simple, despite the apparent legal complexity that exists. Cable & Wireless and Digicel are both corporate companies looking out for their best interests.

Except of course, West Indies cricket has had a long history with Cable & Wireless, who with the increased devaluation of the West Indies brand, did not see the value of a bidding war with their main Caribbean competitor, something which the WICB, of course, desired.

So, on one side you have one party calling the other ungrateful bums, and the other calling the other, cheapskates. Very mature process, eh?

The first question that needs to be asked about this playground fight is what is the WICB? The answer, according to Percy, is that they are a collection of rum drinkers, elected by the absent and given credence by a collection of like-minded souls worldwide. It's a bit like Alcoholics Anonymous, except that we know what they drink and we know who they are.

Here is the crux though. How can the WICB negotiate contracts through which they are dependent on another body, ummmm the players, and not have them party to clauses that they sign which conflict with already signed agreements?

Follow Percy carefully, chaps. And for those WICB folks reading (I know you are, don't hide!), the drinks are in the kitchen. Go get your favorite tipple and find clarity.

Therefore, this debate must lend itself to the key questions. Who brings the bacon to the house? Who puts the corn in the pocket? Who drives West Indies cricket revenue? Any more puns and I too will need gin and tonic to negotiate with the madam for nookie. And, if she resists, I'll bring out the obey clause in the marriage thingy.

What we have here is a mismatch. The mismatch is firstly that Ramnarine is out of his depth. A well-meaning chap, Ramnarine needs to withdraw himself from this whole debate, and go practise writing condescending press releases. Because with the position of power he is so unwittingly in, that's what he should be doing. In fact, the WIPA negotiators should be talking to the ICC, not the WICB. Who elected those buffoons? More buffoons.

And who elected the buffoons who elected those buffoons? OK, there's the obvious connection. You got it. I have a vision of a lil old lady playing bingo somewhere who accidentally elected a couple people who might have started this current group.

Now to the WICB. Actually, in a free world led by George W. Bush, it makes perfect sense that West Indies cricket is led by the WICB. The problem is, when you look behind Bush, you see experts getting fat giving advice on his ignorance.

When you look behind the WICB, you see a waiter coming with more drinks and little expertise to help them deal with core problems.

The WICB should have done its due diligence on Digicel. It should have engaged them and the WIPA in an open dialogue on the situation with C&W to understand whether the deal being struck was a true commitment or a case of corporate one-upsmanship. In a true commitment, parties find a way. In a one-upsmanship scenario, the PR is worth more than the actual seriousness to deal with the problems.

But all they could hear was US$20 million. Ka-ching, ka-ching! This scenario has so many stereotypes attached that I don't even think we need the cartoon.

Meanwhile, the Caribbean public is supposed to have these people as the guardians of our cricket.

Shame on you Caribbean people. Shame on you WIPA. Apologies about that extra coke in your drink WICB.